Getting married in Italy 101: Your destination wedding starter guide
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Not too long ago I watched a podcast by a popular financial consultant talking about destination weddings. That instantly got me thinking – these weddings are really getting popular if people from outside our tight knit wedding planner community are talking about them publicly. Having witnessed the rising interest in Italy firsthand, this really isn’t a surprise, but the confirmation of it feels good anyway.
It really needn’t be more expensive or any less glamorous than a wedding closer to home. And, yes it is a good excuse for a vacation and an all-round unforgettable experience with friends and family.
Having said that the financial consultant didn’t know much about weddings. There are soooo many misconceptions (and some genuine concerns) about the entire concept of getting married abroad. How do you even start planning it? Does it actually count legally speaking? Can you have a church wedding, if you go down that route?
Let’s try to go through these one by one.
How do you start planning your wedding in Italy?
As in any event – the time and the place make all the difference. If you have your heart set on a destination wedding in Italy, then you have made the first big step. Now, it’s time to get into the specifics. Italy has a lot to offer: Cities, defined by historic piazzas, baroque buildings and narrow walkways. Luxurious hotels with grand ballrooms and breathtaking views. Not to mention the outdoors. Tuscany’s rolling hills, covered with vineyards come to mind, but there is so much more. Picturesque lakes like Garda, in the foothills of the Alps. Or perhaps one of the more than 400 islands in the country?
The list goes on. In order to narrow it down, you need to look at the time of year you prefer. Naturally, most people opt for the summer months, but not all destinations are the same. June and July, as well as September are ideal for outdoor events. August may be slightly hot in southern Italy, if you are not a person that deals well with heat. But even the – you have the chill of the Alps in the north.
Having a time of year in mind will help you streamline your options. This is why the detailed contact form on our website includes questions like this.
Next in line comes the number of guests. The venue should be able to accommodate your preferred celebration, as well as leave enough space for all to feel comfortable. That may not be immediately obvious to the untrained eye. Your wedding planner will be of great help here, as they have intimate knowledge of all the top locations.
Is it legal to be married abroad?
“Yes, of course” – states the short answer to that question. The long answer is that some countries – like the US – have no national registration of marriages. The established practice is that legally performed marriages in the respective countries are recognized back home as well.
So what is the proper way of doing it in Italy? You could read a step-by-step list for my clients. In terms of documents – you will need to certify that nothing stands in the way of your marriage. It is called “Nulla Osta” – literally “nothing stands in the way”. EU embassies and consulates from your respective countries can issue this document, confirming that you are legally allowed to get married in Italy.
US citizens follow a similar path, which is perfectly described by the American embassy in Rome. The most important part is called the “Dichiarazione Giurata” – a document stating that there is no legal impediment to your marriage according to the laws of the US state in which you are a resident.
It goes without saying that you should have your passport and your birth certificate (a copy would do) to verify your identity.
There is a catch. The actual “legal” marriage takes place in the local city hall. Or any Italian city hall, for that matter, but it makes most sense to select the one closest to your wedding venue. Ceremonies at historic sites and picturesque lakes can be conducted by local officials, if such arrangements are made, but the rule is that the paperwork gets done at the city hall.
My (optionally) Big Italian Wedding
If you’ve seen the comedy “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, you might have come to some conclusions about the temperament of Southern Europe in general. You wouldn’t be wrong. Italians can be just as loud and messy and the large extended families matter in the everyday lives of many. Having said that – you don’t have to go down the road.
If anything, planning your destination wedding in Italy could give you more freedom from unwanted from an overenthusiastic crowd back home. You may choose to have a simple elopement for you and your loved one. An “elopement” is a romantic escape for two. We have done plenty of those, sometimes with up to 20 guests.
The scale of a wedding is an important matter. If you want to make sure that everyone in your life is on board, you can opt for something like a micro-wedding. Italy has all the right places. Indeed, it can handle much grander ceremonies. I, humbly, suggest a link to my own as inspiration material.
Destination weddings have two dimensions. One is certainly size, but the other is just as important – time. You can have a single day experience or treat yourself and your favorite people to a multi-day sightseeing trip. Watch out for our next blog post, since we will write more on this.
What about religious ceremonies?
Being home to the Vatican and some of Christianity’s most sacred relics, Italy is a deeply catholic country and religion plays a major role in traditional Italian weddings. Of course, you may choose not to partake in a church ceremony and your marriage will still be valid in front of the state, but many couples prefer to declare their oaths in front of God as well.
Is it possible to do this in Italy? The short answer is… well, maybe. There really isn’t a short answer to this question. In fact, it deserves a separate blog post. You would do best to leave this to your wedding planner, since they would know (or be able to quickly find) priests who speak English or will be otherwise able to accommodate foreign guests.
If one of you is not Catholic, the local church will be more likely to object. There are pre-marital courses for interfaith couples, which may count in Italy, as well. But what about couples who can be Protestant, Orthodox, Jewish or follow any other religious tradition of theirs? Short of taking a priest from home with you (which might not be as crazy as it sounds), you are going to face some struggles.
Protestantism, Orthodoxy and Judaism, to name a few, all have a historic – even if smaller – presence in Italy. Things can be arranged, and it will provide for an interesting challenge for your wedding planner. Especially if not experienced.
Overwhelmed? Don’t worry - that is what wedding planners are for!
Organizing a destination wedding is a challenge for any couple and you need allies on the ground. Assuming that you are not currently living in Italy (hence – this being your destination wedding) it would be practically impossible to organize everything without having a good wedding planner. The advantages to such a decision are self-explanatory. The greater challenge is how to pick the right one for you.
Of course, I would recommend “BO CREATIONS destination weddings and events” being my company, but I want this text to be genuinely helpful, so fear not, here is a list of things you can look for when selecting your planner:
- Do they have a presentable portfolio? Look for pictures of their prior events on their website and on social media. This will give you good impressions of their work.
- Are they only working with weddings or events in general? At Bo Creations we do other events as well, which I think is an advantage. It offers a wide range of vendors at our disposal.
- How flexible are they on your choices? Perhaps some planners work only with a few venues, or in a particular region.
- Is everything complying with legal norms? This is not a favor from a friend. Working with a wedding planner means signing a contract with specific terms. You could ask your planner for one to review, prior to signing it.
Last but not least – keep your options open. It is always a good idea to reach out to different people, have a quick online meeting and discuss your ideas. I do that a lot with prospective clients. If you fill out the contact form, I can get back to you for a call and we can discuss your plans. This first meeting is exploratory and completely free of charge.
